First thing's first, I would like to use this section to introduce myself. I am a lady in her early 40's, born and raised in Europe and I have had countless bad relationships. I take responsibility because at the end of the day we - ladies - choose our partners. The problem starts when the relationship turns into an abusive one. Many times there are no signs at first. Many men (but women too, I am not trying to say that this is exclusively a gender issue) can become extremely manipulative when it comes to "claiming the prize". They are able and willing to do just about anything to conquer you but ladies, don't forget, the true themselves get revealed when you are deep into the relationship. Sometimes there are signs, sometimes you have that inner "gut" feeling without conclusive proof that something is off about your partner and other times they are just so incredibly talented that you can't notice anything. However, sooner or later, they reveal the real personality behind that ever-charming smile and that's where the problems begin. In a lucky case you can just end it by declaration "I want to brake up" but as we all know, not every man respects that. Trust me when I say that I have had my fair share of the ones that accepted my decision and the ones who did not. If you are here, reading this, you understand the prerogative.
I have created this website for the defenceless and to help everyone out there (men and women) to avoid an experience that may defy your life forever. People need to tell their stories and I wanted to create a gateway for that. Were you ever involved in an abusive relationship?
You are on a dating app and mesmerized by this gorgeous person on the other side. What if there was a website where you could read about that person's past relationships? Simply by knowing his full legal name and/or phone number you can just perform a search and read about him instantly, without having to do any registration and all this: FOR FREE!
I can tell you upfront that if I had such website before, then I would have never entered into those relationships, and most likely I would have never even gone out with those predators. I would be living a happy life without lifetime scars. It is OK, I wear them proudly and it made me a much-much stronger person. Having said that, on one occasion, I came close to a deadly experience. If the creation of this website helps just one person, then these efforts were all worth it!
I am sure that the creation of this website is going to anger a lot of people (my assumption is that it will be mostly men) but as I said before, my intentions are to save the vulnerable from getting scarred for life.
REMEMBER: Abusive people who like to oppress their partners or harass them, always operate in the shadow and being in the limelight is exactly what they want to avoid. By speaking up, writing about your personal experience you are exercising your right for free speech and ensuring that the next person will not fall victim for your ex. YES, YOU MAY SAVE LIVES!!!
...and MAYBE a secret goal of mine will be accomplished too that will make people treat their partner better because they will never want to end up on my website.
If you feel unsafe, reach out for help. Family, friends, or the authorities! Move if you must! Of course, everyone's life is a lot more complex than for me to be able to provide ample guidance but the sooner you get out the better off you will be.
Whatever you do, stay safe, be kind to one another, listen to your inner feelings, and exercise common sense as well as rationale when you meet someone. Always know with whom you are dating because people only have one identity and that's for life!
With much love,